Picture this: It’s been a long week and finally it’s Friday night. The kids are fed, bathed and in their beds, ready to go to sleep. As you close the door to their room, your wife gives you a sly smile and says the 2 little words you’ve been longing to hear all week long…”Good bye.”
Get your minds out of the gutter – what did you think I was going to say? This is not a Fifty Shades novel!
We have all heard over and over again how important it is to get out of the house for date night with your spouse or partner, but do you know that it’s just as important to get out with other adults for “girls night” or “guys night”?
Once a month, my wife and her friends go out for a night of fun, whether that is dinner, drinks, or some other mischievous plan that I’m not told about. (Just kidding about the mischievous plan.)
I don’t mind staying home so she can have nights like these but I do wonder if all couples make the effort to get out as individuals and to be social with groups of friends without their partners. My question especially holds true for moms, who have such a strong maternal instinct and connection to their children. In my experience, dads tend to be looser with those chains and make a stronger effort to go out with the guys on a somewhat regular basis.
I think it’s important for both members of the couple to ensure that the frequency of getting out is somewhat equal. If you are a dad who gets out a lot, how much less guilty would you feel about it if your wife has her share of nights out with the girls too?
When my wife goes out for dinner with her friends and it’s just me and my 3-year-old girls, I love the feeling of doing things the dad way. Dinner is louder and wackier and I get to cook it exactly how I like it (an uneven ratio of peanut butter to jelly on the bread). Yes, the autonomy is very liberating.
If you are reading this and telling yourself you “don’t need to get out,” or “you are needed at home”, then it’s time to reevaluate that feeling and find out what your partner is capable of handling. It can be a win-win situation that leads to a happier, healthier relationship.
If your relationship has improved when you started implementing girls or guys night out or you want to share any ideas for places to go, please post them below!
I completely agree! I had a much-needed girls’ dinner this past weekend and I was reminded how important that time is. I obviously love getting out with my husband too, but I found myself becoming resentful of all the guys’ time he got through golf, happy hour, card games, etc. I need to make it more of a priority to get out with my friends, but it’s hard when so many of them have babies too!
Jenny Post recently posted..Heading Back to Work
Jenny,
I’m glad you agree. The last thing we want is our wives feeling resentful…it does put a damper on our night when we leave knowing you feel that way. When you get resentful, we get…well…resentful. As for the friends with babies too, I think it’s a big plus that you have friends in the same situation as yourself.
True That Jeremy! Well said. I totally agree. If I can get my lazy bones out of the house for a girls night, it is always worth it
True That Wendy! It’s funny that once you have kids you start to think that “girls night” or “guys night” is something only done by single folks or couples without kids. Having some drinks and going to bars might still be what some of us need, but dinner, bowling, or taking in a ballgame is also a step in the right direction.